Bull Leaper

I often wonder about her, that girl we ran over on the way home from Troy. Is she still alive? She would be 70, give or take, a grandmother perhaps. Did she tell her children about that day? Did they ask about the scar on her forehead? I imagine it must still be there. The gash looked deep. Did she explain why she ran out into the middle of a lonely road that summer afternoon in 1967?

We were on holiday. Let’s go to Turkey, someone had said. We could take a tent. It wouldn’t be like camping in Norfolk. We would be warm and dry. As a boy scout, I did not rate my family as campers. Bloody amateurs, I called them. At 11, I had through emulation of my elders learnt to express myself robustly.  Mother purchased a tent big enough for the four of us. Up, it was a handsome enough pavilion; down, less so. It came in two burlap bags which we roped to the roof of the Morris 1100 along with folding lawn furniture and sleeping bags wrapped in plastic. The overall effect was of a family fleeing a dust bowl, or so I thought as I eyed the spiffier kit of everyone else. And so we set off, several hundredweight of bodies and impedimenta, packed like early astronauts into the valiant little car that was to haul us halfway to Samarkand. I have owned motorcycles with larger engines. First, though, we had to cross he channel. For that we flew. 

In those days, if you wanted to save time, you could put your car on a Bristol Superfreighter that would take you and it, in separate cabins,  from Lydd in Kent to Ostend in Belgium. When the cabin attendant came round with the duty free, my parents would normally have purchased the maximum allowance of Kents, their brand of smoke. But something came over them.  This, they decided, was the moment to free themselves for nicotine’s chains. For my father, it made a sort of sense. For him, writing and lighting up were inseparable. He had been doing them in tandem since well before the Associated Press hired him as a cub reporter in Cairo in 1942. On the job, he was a two to three pack a day man. You could tell by the serried ranks of burn marks along the edge of his desk.  A month now stretched before us in which he would not have to bash out a syllable, though the Olivetti came with us just in case.  For mother giving up would be easier, she said. She had never really liked smoking, had only taken up the habit because the men in her life had all smoked and she took pleasure in its flirtatious and post-coital rituals. The man lighting two cigarettes simultaneously and transferring one to the woman’s lips, before and after. To admit that she was as hooked as any other smoker did not mesh with her story of herself. The coming journey would test its veracity.

We Barbers liked to travel flexibly. We were not ones to let planning and booking interfere with the thrill of not knowing where we would be that night, or the arguments to be had on the way. We established a routine soon enough though.  Each morning we would consult the map and decide upon a route that would get us a few hundred miles closer to Istanbul, home of the one booking we did have.  After lunch we would start consulting the Baedeker of camp sites mother had been provident enough to acquire, paying particular attention to its hieroglyphs which, once you had located the Rosetta Stone in the appendix, let you know what amenities to expect at each site. Would there be be showers? Did they work? Would one be sitting on or squatting over porcelain? Was the porcelain likely to be clean? Would there be porcelain? And, most important, what would the night’s stay cost?

Decisions were seldom simple or consensual.  We each had different needs and wants and ways of expressing them. Bear in mind that the drivers were in nicotine withdrawal and the driving, mostly on two-lane roads, took stamina. Even though we occupied the lower quintiles when it came to capacity for speed, there was much overtaking to be done nonetheless, generally on winding roads and blind hills, mostly of buses and lumbering pantechnicons. Ours was an English car so the steering wheel was on the curb, or wrong, side, leaving the driver to what guess what might be coming the other way. The onus was therefore on the occupant of the front passenger seat to make the call. If the co-pilot was dozing or there was a difference of opinion, the driver might throw the car into the line of fire in an exploratory lunge, yanking it back if need be.  Then, if the decision was go, the real drama would begin as the driver double de-clutched into second, we held our breaths and the engine screamed like a rabbit in the claws of a hawk. The excitement was draining. Come dusk, there was not a lot of energy left for the putting up of tents. There would be a row which would end with three of us stomping off in different directions with no tent to sulk in. At least until Charles erected it.  By then we were past sulking. To be continued

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s